Gender Roles

The presentation on gender roles was very interesting to me, especially since it really got me to thinking about the dynamics of my relationship with my boyfriend. I would say that I would classify our relationship as egalitarian but with some traditional values. For us, we maintain some traditional values because we like them but not because we expect that of each other. For instance, when we go on dates my boyfriend often pays but I do not expect him to and I offer to pay for myself. Sometimes I even pay for both of us on a date and that does not cause any gender role issues. Because we both do things in our relationship because we want to instead of because we have to in order to fit into certain gender roles, we do not get into fights about those little things. From listening to others talk in class about examples of parents that get mad for having to fulfill certain roles it seems to me that this can be the cause of fights that are unnecessary. For instance, one mother would get mad that she is expected to fill the motherly role of doing laundry. In an egalitarian relationship this duty would likely be shared thus preventing a fight over it. In an egalitarian relationship with traditional values, the woman might still fulfill this role but because she enjoys it rather than because she has to which would also prevent fighting. In my relationship I know that I would take over this role because I wanted to not because I was expected to. Also, I know that if I asked my boyfriend to do it for me, he would. In reverse, he would fulfill certain male roles such as doing yard work because he wanted to and if he asked me fill that role for him, I would. So at least for me egalitarian with traditional values is the ideal relationship which is probably a result of the way in which I was raised. My mother and father fulfill normal gender roles in most things but they both seem to be content in doing so. I am sure if I had been raised in a different household, my idea of the ideal relationship would be different.

After writing this I realized that when I was referring to the woman I used the word "motherly" to describe the roles she was fulfilling but for the man I just used "male" to describe his roles. I thought about going back and changing it but then I decided not to because it just shows how ingrained it is in me than women are identified as mothers and men are just men, not fathers. I have to wonder if as gender roles change and men and women become more egalitarian if people will continue to still view women as mothers and men as just men or if it will move more towards women as mothers and men as fathers. My guess is no but I am sure it is a possibility. I just think that because women are the ones physically giving birth that we cannot help but view them as mothers. The woman will have to care for her child throughout pregnancy whereas a father could just get up and leave.